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The next day, from a law firm whose partners seemed to spill profusely from the letterhead, I was informed I was being sued. It didn’t take long for the case to come to trial, but by then she was already on the road to exceeding even her laughable former incarnation. In court, she bulged next to her barristers, bulging shinily like an overinflated balloon. My medical license was suspended for five years, though in the end the immensity of Derby/Debrette’s fortune meant the judge didn’t choose to give her much of mine. I think, too, the judge secretly thought I had been right to curb the excess of this tumourous being. Last night, two months before I get back my medical license, the news announced that Alisha Debrette, heir to the Derby fortune and, with a verbal hitch like a wink to the camera, glamour girl had died while undergoing surgery to further enlarge her breasts. By now, she had so transformed that even the adult movies didn’t want her and the papers only featured her. “Ah, just whip them off “ I said, laughing, but only half joking.“I just wouldn’t feel comfortable” he said, a little nervously “What if, Mrs M came home from work early?”“It would be the first time ever, that she had.” I laughed again, knowing how true that was.“Nah, I wouldn’t feel comfortable. I wouldn’t be able to relax.”I smiled, handed him his drink, and walked back towards the house, pausing only to offer a light hearted “Just don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” as I went.The summer was proving to be long and hot, the only aspect I was finding stifling was my limited opportunities to spend time at home indulging my naturist tendencies. I find it uncomfortable laying out in the sun now with trunks or shorts on, and the thought of gaining a tan line, however feint, was extremely undesirable. I don’t go announcing my naturism unsolicited at dinner parties, but I don’t try to hide it either. It’s knowledge that is imparted on a need to know basis. If you don’t need to know then I.
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